Disappointment Sucks

By: Sofia Gonzalez @mrsg_p214

Re|Defined Women #BookClub, Love Life Again

I’ll never forget the day, and my long term memory isn’t as sharp as I’d like it to be. I was a freshman in high school: wild, young, and full of teenage angst and energy.


My dad was home earlier than expected. His face somber and pale. I threw my backpack on the floor and headed to the fridge for some afternoon rummaging. He cleared his throat by the counter.


“Hmmhmm, mija I think you need to go sit down with me. There’s something I have to tell you.”


“Ok, is mom cooking? I’m starving.”


He didn’t respond. I looked up from the fridge door, his eyes started to swell with tears. Dad doesn’t cry much. He had my attention.


He sat down first, and patted the couch for me to sit close to him. It immediately spilled out like a sudden knock of a glass of milk from your elbow, as you watch the glass and its liquid splatter everywhere.


“Your mother and I are getting a divorce.”
 I didn’t say anything, I felt the room closing in on me. My brain started to feel pressed, my heart beating quick beats, now poking at my skin.


“Why?”


“The love isn’t there mija, and I’m thinking of taking a job in Washington DC.”


Silence. Raw Silence, and then the dam broke. My father broke down into bite size pieces in front of me. He wept in his hands, as I stood there in a paralyzing shock, as this was too much for my teenage world to absorb. I did what any 14 year old may have done. In a panic, I ran out of the house and ran and ran for blocks as I cried uncontrollably. Over 20 years of marriage shattered in an instant. I become part of the statistic of a Latina who will be raised by a single mother. The road ahead seemed grim. But. God.


In Love Life Again, by Tracy Miles, she had me at one of her opening lines to chapter one when she said, “There came a time I had to accept that my life had not turned out the way I thought it would and no amount of wishing it were different was going to change it.”


Her open door policy with chapter one initiated so much respect for her in my mind’s eye, as she unfolded the culprit of her demise: Adultery and divorce. Those two words are enough to level an open field like Hurricane Maria’s work in Puerto Rico’s terrains.


Dang. She confronts the reader at the onset. Happy, joy has to be a choice. As disappointment sucks…it will literally suck the joy, peace, and happiness from the byways of your soul like a sailing ship on an oceanfront, never to return.


Through the disdain and the classroom of experience, I have learned the same. Loving life again can’t be circumstantial, but a constant posture that we will have to aspire towards everyday. Do we honestly think that our days are limitless? All the more reason we need to reach, grab, and put on joy each and every sunrise.


Because you see, sadness is seductive, almost sexy. We drape it over us like a blanket in the dead of winter nights, pulling it under our chins, wrapping our feet from the bottom so a toe doesn’t wiggle out.
 But happy?
 But joy?


That’s like grasping for straws. Or wind. We try to grab it, and let it go at the reckoning of a snatcher, a circumstance that would care to rob us blind. How easily do we let it flee. We hardly fight for it. Like a lover about to leave the midnight train, and we have one chance to convince them to stay. We let them board. We listen to the whistle blow. Cement blocks stick our feet in. We standby on the platform of life, watching the train pass us by.


Nehemiah said, as they were rebuilding the Jerusalem ruins, “Do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength” (8:10).


Happy-joy? That’s a choice. It can exist even inside of grief’s quarters. Going deeper, it has to transform into a mindset, a psychological posture that one must embrace daily. Even if it be gradual, it must be progressive.

Do you know what else? It is proven that sadness, despondency, and depression lead to lethargy, a slowed heart rate, and even suicidal ideation. Yet, joy and happy actually fuse in us strength, clarity, energy, and an actual release of endorphins in our brains. Not unintentional by the Maker.

Choose joy, my dear heart. 
Choose happy today.


Your heart, your soul, your close knits, your Maker will be glad you did.


“For the joy of the Lord is your strength.”
 – Nehemiah 8:10


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Word Girl

By: Mónica R Rodriguez @daywithmonica

Re|Defined Women #BookClub, Love Life Again

“They may forget what you said- but they will never forget how you made them feel.” -Carl W. Buehner, Official in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter- Day Saints.

Would you believe me if I told you, I remember a dream I had when I was in kindergarten? I do!

Mrs. Ortiz’ class of 1987. Yes, ma’am, I remember! It was nap time, (seriously!) so when I say kindergarten, I mean literally. We didn’t have the fancy cots kids have now, what we had was a carpet. One big carpet that come to think of it, “how gross!”

ANYWAY…

Mrs. Ortiz had an interesting way of waking us up after nap time. She used her teacher ruler, the really long wooden one (are you familiar?) to poke us. I remember wondering as a child, “Why a ruler? Did she not want to touch us?” I know! Since, like, birth I’ve been in my feelings, it’s crazy. Now that I’m a grown adult, it’s probably because she just didn’t feel like bending down. Hello!

This particular day, when we gathered after nap time on the circular carpet this time, I happened to be sitting right next to Mrs. Ortiz. I can’t remember the context of our group time but I do remember sharing my dream with the class. “I was laying down and the bed was going around in circles. Over and over again, I was going in circles and wouldn’t stop.” That was it! That was the dream. Profound, huh?!

Although it was a simple dream and I was just five years old, Mrs. Ortiz stopped and listened. She asked me questions different from the questions she was asking the rest. To her the dream was interesting. For me, my teacher was ‘seeing’ me.

The reality is, it wasn’t the dream, it’s vastness and depth or lack thereof that I remember. It was how my teacher made me feel when I shared my dream that I remember. She not just heard me, she was listening.

I am a lover of words. It very well could be because I have traits of my Father and Creator. The One who spoke all of life and living into existence with His words. Or possibly because I am a ‘forever student’ captivated by the Word of God itself and hold true it’s every promise as solid gold!

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” – John 1:1

The Word WAS God! The Word IS God! This is gold!! Surely, my love for words stems from knowing the Power they carry!

Interestingly enough, my love for words also stems from the same place my emotions come from; my soul. And when I/we are guilty of speaking unchecked words that then lead to unchecked actions, we run the risk of leaving lifelong impressions on another human; another soul. Words turn into memories and in so many ways become what we believe of ourselves.

This does things to me!

On the journey to ‘loving life again,’ I am reminded by our author, Tracie Miles,”what we say matters,” she says. The words that we say to ourselves and each other, both bountifully good and carelessly reckless, mean something.

What words am I choosing? What words are you?

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue?…” – Proverbs 18:21

My #ConfessionSession is that my words haven’t always aligned with who I aspire to be. The good news is, like any growing mechanism we aren’t designed to stay the same. Whatever isn’t growing is dead. Dead, like that plant sitting in that pot just taking up space in the kitchen or porch. You know the one! Or maybe that’s just my house. Whatevs!

Let’s commit to learn from our mistakes and challenge ourselves to pay attention to our words, my loves.

Much like the joy we’re reading about in “Love Life Again,” the words we choose is exactly that; our choice. Let’s take back our ability to choose and choose well!

Love and light, beauties…

Version 2

A Re|Defined Brunch!

– N E W – S E A S O N – … Spring is upon us and so is YOUR new season, beautiful! Join #ReDefinedWomen at the table for a time of everything nice!

ReDefined Table will be hosting it’s very first potluck brunch/ mini expo and you’re invited! We are a collaboration of women who inspire and look to be inspired. A few of our favorite things are #BreakingBread, #ReadingBooks & #StudyingBible! We believe in supporting small business’ lead by women boss’s “doin the thang!” Got a hustle you’d like to showcase?! Email us! This event is for YOU; for any and ALL of us women!

Join us for brunch and BE inspired to welcome in a new SEASON!

*invite a friend… leave the babies home… share your favorite dish… and pull up a chair! #WeSavedYouASeat || You won’t be disappointed! || RSVP – space is limited || email menu inquires to friends@redefinedtable.com

FAQs

How can I participate in the expo?

Email Mónica at friends@redefinedtable.com // subject: Let’s Connect!

How does the potluck work?

You make (or buy, ha! let’s be real) your fav dish and bring it with you ready to serve! Warmers and trays will be provided.

How can I contact the organizer with any questions?

You can email our team at friends@redefinedtable.com or inbox our Like Page: https://www.facebook.com/ReDefinedTable/